My Heart Cries

I ask you to remember throughout your reading of this entire written word that I am not telling you what to feel or what to think; I am only crying.

Most Christians say with full agreement, that the Lord Jesus Christ is the One Truth, the One who is One with the Father, the One Way, the One Life, the One Life-Giving Spirit, the One Light, the One Foundation, the One Rock, the One Redeemer, the One Unity, the One Deliverer, the One Lamb, the Worthy One, the One Risen, the One Who Lives, the One Drink, the One Bread of Heaven, the One Worthy Sacrifice, the One Triune God, the One who takes away the sin of the world, the One Supremacy, the One who lives in us, the One who loves us, and the One who comes again. I know there are many more, but I only name these that come to my heart at this moment.

Most Christians will also say with full agreement that our Lord Jesus Christ tells us to be in One mind, One heart, One Spirit and in One accord as His body.

The Head and the body are to be One. We are individuals, most certainly, but too I say to you this: We are one! We are to be in an intimate relationship with Christ in complete unity with full expression of Him as His One whole body. One Head has only One body, One heart, One mind, and One Spirit.

I could write of many scriptures, historical facts, commentaries, books and endless et cetera, but I only write this from my heart today and nothing else. Therefore, I desire to speak frankly and sincerely out of my depth of burden to all who care to read this simple writing. Most may not see my heartache as they read, but I ask only that you consider the simpleness of me as I reach out to you. Love that is alive must reach out, and so no matter how you view what you are about to read please know this: It is written only because of love. I do not attempt to prove anything to anybody, nor have I any desire to even try. This is my heart, that’s all. This is not for any kind of judgment from me onto you, nor from you onto me. If you continue to read this, then you are either just curious, or you truly want to know my heart and why it cries.

Most of us today worship our Lord in ”Christendom” with a multitude of contradictions among one another. There are numerous factions, sects, religions, denominations, organizations, and divisions of many certain beliefs, doctrines, rules, regulations, religious constitutions, and traditions. I humbly beg you to consider for a moment this question: Can the One Truth be divided into factions and organized to our liking, and still be the Divine One and only Truth Whom we seek?

We all are familiar with the scriptures that state the fact that Jesus Christ is The Truth. If you agree, then does the following make any sense to your spirit and heart? The Truth cannot be a system of beliefs, religious traditions, man’s established ways, worship rituals, nor any religion, since these are all split and divided. Please tell my heart, how is it right that we call ourselves followers of our Lord Jesus and at the same time we are so obviously divided, separate and individual. Can we truly and sincerely convince our hearts it does not matter to our Lord Jesus Christ? I cannot.

Does this seem too harsh and direct? If so, please consider for a moment how our Lord Jesus Christ is to accept Himself as being considered a divided, fractured, split, organized, departmentalized, officiated, categorized, denominated, and broken-up Lord within what is considered in this day “Christianity.”

Can we step away from our mirrors, ourselves, our lives, our desires, our busyness, our merit and our self-right long enough to glance through the eyes of our Lord Jesus? Do you think we may not like what we see? Do we present His body to Him as scattered pieces of membered factions? Is our Lord Jesus something we join up for on a titled list within a religious system with a written constitution of our own? Is our Lord something we sign up for as a joined member in an organization or denomination?

Why do so many consider the House of God as a physical building made by the hands of humankind? Why do many Christians worship in an established building with traditional rituals under a hired head (a Christian) and a governing elected body (Christians) among commoners (Christians)?

I want to address specifically what I think most of you would agree with me on, at least I think so anyway. We are a country that promotes individualism more than any other people in the world.

Sometimes, it feels like we have gone so far away from true Unity we may never realize it as a people and all because of the mass, accepted standard of the I. From the many media sources such as TV, radio, movies, music, magazines, books, and countless forms of the I propaganda, we no longer recognize it, because we are ingrained with it, so much so, we do not see it or we are not aware of it most of time, if at all. Our lives are overwhelmingly centered on the individual self.

The I divide is embedded into the everyday way of life, our minds, our Christian lives and even our worship. We all profess to be family in words, but could we missing something we have never experienced or considered? Is this something within the One Truth who is the One Supreme Person — Jesus Christ our Lord?

There is only One who is the Supremacy of everything, including the I(s), and that One is our Lord Jesus Christ! May He open the eyes and the hearts of us all that we may see Him as one.

We certainly must be misguided or something, because Christ is the Perfect Divine Unity. Read our most wonderful Lord Jesus’ prayer to the Father before His crucifixion to get a hint of that unity that we are suppose to be In Him. I’ve read it many times, I cannot seem to read it without my heart crying, because I do not see in “Christianity” that Oneness which is described in our Lord Jesus’ prayer, His very words about us. How have we gone so far away from what Jesus prayed to the Father concerning what He desired for us? It matters to me so very much.

There are many other scriptures that speak of this unity, but like I wrote a moment ago, I am only speaking my heart. I do not wish to get into a debate or proof contest of any kind. I have no need for that. I have no desire for that. I simply am just writing. Do you hear my heart crying now?

Kat Huff



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50 Comments on “My Heart Cries”

  1. Josh Says:

    The call, as always, it to go outside the camp unto Him. To trade in our Christianity for Christ, as unorthodox as that sounds.


  2. Michael Young Says:

    I’m with you, Kat. Amen.


  3. Georgia Ana Larson Says:

    I’ve always wondered how many times Jesus had tears in His eyes during that last night He was together with His people, when He prayed that prayer. The tears of Jesus are rarely spoken of, but that doesn’t mean there weren’t many.


  4. Jeanne S. Says:

    I hear your heart’s cry Kat and agree. I know this is what Jesus longs for, us being one. This one prayer that Jesus prayed that has yet to be answered.
    Somewhere along the road of Christianity we have clung to “truth” being the most important thing, not realizing that He is TRUTH. We would rather die on the hill of our supposed “truth” than love beyond our differences. Some would say this leads to compromising the “truth”, so it’s better to separate to our group that believes just like me. After 30 years of being a Christian and losing too many friends over doctrine, I just can’t do it anymore.
    I may disagree with your views and even debate it with you, but I’m not going let it effect our relationship, will you?


    • Kat Huff Says:


      I love your words “love beyond our differences.”

      I would like to address Jesus’ prayer that we be one just as He and the Father are One. Father always accomplishes His pleasure in and through His Son, as so throughout the Scriptures is the revealing of the eternal purpose of Father in Christ Jesus. We are one. His death, resurrection and ascension was the answer to His prayer. It is finished, indeed. Christ Jesus indwells us. Christ in us, the Hope of Glory means just that. The actual problem this post addresses is how many have lost their true identity. That is the reason why many live as being part of the world, and by this I mean that many live the individualistic way of the world. In the separative mind-set, God’s people have lost their IDs and on that ID is the picture of Christ, not just a head photo but full body and head as One. The tree of the knowledge of Good divides, but the Tree of Life, who is Christ, unites as one in One.


  5. Gioia Morris Says:

    My heart is crying with you – as it has for some time… I share the burden…


  6. Pam Frazier Says:

    Reading this makes my heart cry too Kat. I felt it differently this time. I truly long for that unity in Christ that you speak of. I’m pretty sure Jesus cries also when He see’s what has been done in His name. The scattered pieces of His Body. It is a sad thing. I do not call myself a christian anymore because who knows what that means?? Different things to different people. I am in Christ, is my answer when someone asks what is my religion. May we all be In Christ without all the other “things”.


    • Kat Huff Says:


      I hear your heart. I feel it is not just that many long for Unity, but long to know that Unity which is Christ, who is our true reality. It is like being at a residence, but not knowing the address of where one lives, sort of speak. The picture that comes to my mind is the ultimate One Another: Father, Son & Spirit, who are One. This Reality, this Unity, is Jesus Christ our Lord. The Son is in Father and Father is in His Son by or through Spirit. We are in Christ and Christ is in us; He is the Life-Giving Spirit. When Christ Jesus came in the flesh and walked upon the earth in bodily form, He lived by and through His Father in Spirit. We cannot know who we are in Christ unless we know/experience Christ, and Christ as His body. The more we experience Christ our Life, the more we also come to the realization of who we are in Him. I would like to give emphasis to the word ‘our’ in Christ our Life.


  7. Michele Says:

    My heart echoes your heart’s cry. Thank you for so sweetfuly and beautifuly articulating the Lord’s stirrings in your heart.


  8. Jamal Jivanjee Says:


    You took the words right out of my heart. Thank you.


  9. Mary Kramapch Says:

    Good word, Kat. Funny enough I used these same verses in John to someone earlier today, expressing my own cry on this very subject. I remember when I was brand new in Christ if I found out you loved Him, I was thrilled and loved you too because I believed we were united in Christ. Imagine my great surprise when I found that love and desire for unity were not returned; people just couldn’t understand…”I mean its nice you believe and all, but…” Maybe we’ve bought into how the world defines love and unity, not how the Lord defines it. Anyway, having never met you Kat, I love you. I’m glad we are together in Christ.


    • Kat Huff Says:


      Thank you for reading and commenting. Your statement regarding the heights of being a new babe in Christ and seeing Him in others is very familiar. Yes, it is sad that not long after that birth many begin to see the lack of experiential Life in the body. What happened? Your statement about how many believers in the body of Christ have defined His body by the mind-set of this world is outstanding and key.


  10. Debbie Says:

    I believe Christ had many on their knees weeping the lack of love amongst His People a few nights ago. He is raising His Church.

    Hebrews 9:1 says that the first covenant had an earthly building and an order of worship and verse eight explains why The Holy Spirit did it this way. Buildings still representing the religion of law fill the earth in may shapes and forms – love indwells a living temple…it is the New Covenant heart that changes everything and as I said Jesus Christ is awakening His Children and maybe the bridesmaids, as He, I believe, is about to unveil His Bride…who He is raising from the dead.

    Good blog and I’m glad you heard God cry too and wept with Him. I am sure two nights ago something very Holy swept the globe.


    • Kat Huff Says:


      Thank you for reading and commenting. It was never about a physical building, but about Christ. The building is just a thing, something made by human hands, and in the O. T. this building represented a greater reality, which is Christ. We can gather anywhere, be that a house, a building of any size and structure, a yard, a garden, etc. The place we gather is not important. It is the mind-set of this world that has captured the sight of many. To see Christ, to know Him, is to experience Him and that means to experience Him in one another; the whole body is for His expression. Where we are sitting or standing when we express Christ together as His body makes no impact, though it is natural and comfortable to express Him together in our homes, but the living room is not an essential ingredient to expressing Christ. It is about only One, Jesus Christ our Lord and His expression in and through His body.


  11. Brad Says:

    Don’t mean to be insensitive just looking to what is Jesus asking me / us to do about it?
    I know that because Jesus prayed and asked the Father for this it only makes sense to ask Him as well. But Jesus is still interceeding isn’t He? So what is our part and what is His Part? I want to be a doer of Him (the Word) and not a hearer only but frankly Im not really hearing correctly as of yet. I know that some are hearing and doing something. I just get tired of trying and what seems like failing so many times. Going on 15 years now outside the institutional church with 4 differnt groups and now im alone again. Ive run out of people in my small town.


    • Kat Huff Says:


      I hear your heartache loud and clear. There are many “groups” who start out thinking that everything will be just dandy, and they will be perfectly united to express Christ, being the priesthood of all believers, because they intend to gather around Christ as their centrality, life and source.

      Sometimes they fail, why? Because the very same mind-set has now found a new location outside of the institutional setting. It is nothing more than a physical relocation. My opinion is that most, not saying all, but most “groups” need a helping hand from outside of the group, at least from time to time. I prefer the word equipper because it describes what happens, the saints become equipped by the laying of the foundation which is Christ. This person points to Christ with a mind-blowing revelation of Christ to the saints. An equipper is a person who is well experienced in gathering outside the institutional business setting. Too, let’s not forget that there is a time that needs to be experienced and that time is often called the wilderness experience. It is the time of coming out of the world business system way and relying on Father for everything. Father does a great work in the wilderness. Those who jump from the business human headship gatherings to outside of that foundation, find themselves repeating the only way they have ever known.


      • Karyn McNeal Says:

        I agree with your thoughts here so very much – I think it is an accurate description of what entangles many groups who started with good intentions. We have witnessed saints who had a genuine love for Jesus and wanted to throw off the chains of religiosity, and they did so for quite a time. But when the honeymoon phase ended and lulls began, they drifted back – as you said – to what they knew, and that was one man being responsible for artificially covering up the spiritual lacking of the group by stagnant, controlling methods. The part of the equation, though, that can be difficult is: How do you go about finding that “equipper” who can properly help a particular group of saints?

      • Kat Huff Says:


        I think the best and most reliable way to find an equipper is by actual reputation (word of mouth), being a recommendation from other groups that you know truly exist. Ideally, it would be extremely beneficial to visit the group, or groups, recommending an equipper. A weekend visit should give a small hint to where the group is at regarding true body life in Christ. Then, contact the equipper to discuss further information.

  12. david bolton Says:

    Thanks, Kat, for pouring out your heart. You have touched mine with what you have written. In the midst of the breakdown all around, I believe He is looking for those who will stand immovable on the ground of Christ alone and for the testimony of His one body, in love and humility. We know it will be a remnant but we can be encouraged knowing that the Lord takes great delight in those who hold fast to His desire for the supremacy of His Son in all things, and of the unity that is in Him alone. Thanks for your words, and for your heart. You are not alone!


  13. ronkellington Says:

    Some time ago I was wondering about all the apparent divisions in the ‘church’, and the Lord showed me that The Body of Christ has never been divided. Man may be… he may have different understandings and theologies and other issues of his mind. Man may separate and isolate himself : Not so with Jesus Christ, our all inclusive Lord!


    • Pam Frazier Says:

      You know what Ron, reading your reply really hit a nerve for me. I think you are right. It is only man who creates all these divides. Christ Himself of course could never be in scattered pieces! He is All. He is Truth, He is Life! It is us, mankind who muck it up. Who can’t seem to find unity. These are just “things,” these divisions. It seems man must ever quarrel with others over “things.” The Body is One, built on the Foundation of Jesus Christ


    • Kat Huff Says:


      It is all a matter of seeing our Reality, seeing our Actuality, Jesus Christ including His own body. All else is merely an illusion in the minds of humankind, and this illusion is the way of the world. May the eyes our hearts be open to see Christ as He Is.


      • Jon Zens Says:

        In 1 Cor 1, Paul asks — “Is Christ divided?” — and the answer, of course, is a resounding “NO!” Divisions are initiated by believers as they cluster around various personalities (often, “their pastor”) or human traditions, or fight over various doctrines, etc. We can’t stop others from fostering further divisions, but each of us can stand with the undivided Christ and affirm that as much as lies within us, we will not contribute any longer to schisms.

      • Kat Huff Says:

        Well said, Jon.

  14. Millie Spock Says:

    Dear Kat, I’m new to viewing your sight and am so blessed by reading your hearts cry.The division of the body of Christ has also been my hearts cry for many years. Thank you for expressing in words what I believe is the heart cry of our Lord. My daughter and I have been in the desert now for many years.but believe God has so much more. Our hearts cry is that we may love others more and more as He has loved us and see Him as our head , our all and all.


    • Kat Huff Says:


      Thank you so much for your wonderful comment. Years in the wilderness, I feel for you sister. I truly do. The only thing that is coming to my heart is travail in your outcries to Father. Father is building his house of living stones and it seems we are far and few between. But we despise not the small things, our Father does small things really big. I tell Father quite often, “Build Father, build for the pleasure of your heart smile alone.” The heavenly places in Christ are endlessly blessed. All blessings are in the ekklesia, built by the Spirit of Jesus Christ our Lord. Him who is Love lives in us and we love with his love, we even love Him with his love in us. The love we love with does not depend upon the love of another in order that we love them. That is how He first loved us, He loved us with Himself, who is Love. He doesn’t just love, He is Love.


  15. Pam Says:

    Dear Kat, I am hopeful knowing that there are so many others (more than I thought) that are crying out for this Unity to be a reality. And not because we’ve all been hurt, either. But because this is indeed hurting HIS heart 😦


    • Kat Huff Says:


      I agree with you! And the cry is getting louder. The eternal gospel is becoming known today, though it seems only outside of the human religions. Thank you so much for commenting.


  16. Greg Gamble Says:

    Kat, our cries, and all the cries from those under the altar of ‘how long oh Lord’ will bring Jesus to us. He said He will come at the cry of our voice. We dont know if His coming will be a visit or the last coming but knowing He sees our loneliness and pain at the separation among His people, and dishonor to his lovely person and name hurts beyond words. And from this pain He births new life, somehow, somewhere. He’s amazing.


    • Kat Huff Says:


      The cry of our voice is from His cry within us. It is His grieving sorrow that our hearts sometimes flow with tears, and it is within His cry that I wrote this short writing. He wept with Mary, and now, sometimes we weep with Him. His body is so fractured and broken by the mindset of the world, and in His love, we weep with Him. Thank you very much for your wonderful comment!


  17. jimpuntney Says:

    Dear Kat, My heart cries as yours does. I don’t have answers, yet I have several observations.

    There are those that make a living off of the name Jesus. This is done in His name, yet not through His name. These merchants of His house of prayer are robbing the saints. The saints are robbed of His broader expression, a joy that lasts, and of an understanding of what Life ‘in’ Christ is, or can be. I know these things to be true due to my religious past. There are times, and today was one where I feel led to challenge this system. This is done with hope to create dialogue, or questions. The Holy Spirit will move the hearts and minds of those who hear His voice.

    The joy. the openness, the Life we share ‘in’ Christ motivates, and encourages us to reach out, to be vulnerable, and to love our fellow man. Love is the material bridges are constructed of, love is what moves mountains, love is what moves hearts.

    May we collectively share this love, may we truly live the prayer of Jesus, and may we be ready to answer those that question this hope that lives within us.


    • Kat Huff Says:


      Yes, I know you share my heart in this writing, my brother. I have heard you express a love that can only be Love in you and through you. I wrote this a few years ago, and sometimes my heart still cries.


  18. Surit Says:

    Dear Kat,

    Thank you for writing this. A year or so ago I wrote a letter to my church and questioned the institutional practices they were doing. The reply they gave was filled with blatant accusations of division-creating directed at me and my fellow believer who stood by me. Today they have embraced me back but I made it clear to them that there is no hierarchy in the Body of Christ just as there is no hierarchy in the Triune God. Christ is my focus! Whenever someone in my church starts something that is not about Christ I drag them back to the source that is Christ, and that is very offending to the church ‘leaders’. Your writing here expresses all that is in my heart and I’m overjoyed that I am not alone. Thank you again my dear sister in Christ.



  19. Mohandas Palan Says:

    Dear Sister…
    Thanks for the Wonderful Article, Which contains full of Love, Only Love can bind us together which is missing among the Christians,We have forgotten the commands of our Master “Love one another as I have loved you” Split, Division, occurs due to self ambition, position,power struggle, etc which are existing in today’s Modern Church. Thanks again dear sister for the amazing Article, its an eye opener…!!! Praise God…!!!


    • Kat Huff Says:


      You are very welcome! It is my opinion that all the divisions are due to one thing alone: Knowing Him. If we know Him, our one shared Life, and see Him and know Him in one another, we would never divide, never. It would not be possible, because He is our Love, not just our Life.


  20. rafi Says:

    The great necessity of the Church today is the Vision of the Person of Christ. Who is Christ? We need the revelation of Christ. We need to return to the primacy of Christ. We need a generation totally Christ centered, not dogma centered or self-centered. We need to see Christ. We need the vision of Christ and the Church. That is the ground of our unity. Christ Himself ought to be our Unity. MAY the Lord grant this generation a Revelation of Christ and a Divine Vision of Who is the Church.


  21. Tobie Says:

    Thanks Kat. What a magnificent, prophetic word.

    Be assured: We will get there, but we will do so only because He said: “Let us go over to the other side” (Mark 4). Those words were forgotten when the storms hit, and constitutes the reason for the Lord asking the disciples: “Where is your faith?””.

    Ever wondered why he said that? I would imagine a commendation for turning to him in a time of crisis, not a rebuke! But the riddle is solved when we consider the words that initiated the journey across the waters! He said “We will get there”, and that is what he meant. (My darling wife’s revelation, btw, not mine.)

    I am comforted by Jesus’ prayer in John 17. (Could the Father ever ignore that prayer?) I am comforted by Paul’s striking revelation of what the end of the journey down here is going to look like: “…until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God and become mature.” I am comforted by Paul’s rebuke to the infantile Corinthians with their sectarian attitudes.” I am comforted by Christ’s rebuke of the very same sectarian attitudes amongst his own disciples in Mark 9: “Do not stop him…for whoever is not against us is for us.” And so we can go on.

    We’ll get there. Until then we cry indeed, but the day will come when we’ll see Christ’s prayers answered, Paul’s prophecy fulfilled and our tears disappear!



  1. My Heart Cries « manifesthim - January 17, 2013

    […] My Heart Cries. […]

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